Clues You Can Use to Soothe Clashes
We all have someone we have to deal with who is somehow blocking us from getting what we want. It may be opposing counsel, but it may just as likely be our own partner or a staff member who isn’t performing to our expectations. In those situations our frustration levels mount, and some of us sneer or explode. We go from dealing with a difficult person to being a difficult person.
Many such problems can be solved or prevented if we can improve our communication skills. Here are some ‘clues you can use’ to improve your communication and reduce the conflict in your office.
1. Deal with annoyances while they are small.
This concept particularly applies to people we interact with frequently. Sometimes someone does something that annoys us, inconveniences us or hurts us, but because it is a small matter, we think it would be too petty to bring up. By the time it (or something like it) happens the tenth time, we have a big stack of grievances to address, and our emotions run high. We appear to react out of proportion to the incident, but actually we are reacting to ten incidents. Ambrose Bierce, an American author and newspaper columnist, said, ‘Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.’ If we simply address the issue the first or second time it occurs, we usually can discuss it calmly, casually and without a lot of emotional investment.
Get Noticed to Get Business
An important axiom of marketing is: “Customers do business with people they know, like and trust.” The significance of that axiom swells when you market a professional service instead of a product, because your potential clients can’t see, touch or taste your wares in advance of the purchase. To achieve that coveted status of being known, liked and trusted in advance of providing the service, choose marketing strategies that enhance visibility, credibility, personal relationships and referrals. Clients can’t like and trust you if they don’t know you exist. So this month we’re focusing on how you can augment your visibility to potential clients and referral sources.
The Value of Name Recognition
When you increase your visibility, you increase your name recognition. People gravitate toward names they recognize, even when they don’t remember why they recognize the name. The “I’ve heard of her somewhere” factor pays off. A while back I read an article reporting the polling results about the best lawyers in another city. I recognized the names of many of the lawyers selected, and could confirm the quality of a number of them from personal experience. I also recognized the name of one lawyer in a category that I didn’t have much knowledge about, but I assumed he was good because I had heard of him. Later I saw his name selected in several other categories requiring dramatically different skill sets and knowledge bases. Something seemed awry. With today’s in-depth specialization, rarely can a generalist truly excel in multiple legal practice areas, and this fellow was named among the best in four different areas! On reflection, I recognized that he had been very active in leadership roles in bar and community activities, and was a former State Bar President. He may be a genius and a multi-tasking […]
Leadership Lessons from Katrina
Together Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita brought destruction and chaos to much of the Gulf Coast. In every situation, however, there are lessons and gifts. Here in Houston as a Katrina volunteer at the Astrodome/Reliant Park, I received the gift of watching leadership lessons demonstrated before my eyes.
Usually the impact of our leadership style plays out gradually over time, and we are not able to easily distinguish which variables caused the results we received. In the time-compressed atmosphere of the Katrina relief effort, however, we had the benefit of something like time-lapse photography. We could see strangers form work teams that either dissolved into dysfunction or developed an efficient rhythm despite the rapidly changing environment.
I will briefly describe the leadership keys I observed that worked.
[…]
Behavior Styles Affect Communication
“I ask you what time it is, and you tell me how to build a clock!” John said with exasperation. Ben felt confused and, frankly, a little hurt. He just wanted to make sure John had all the facts before making his decision.
***
“What am I supposed to do with this?” Carol asked.
“You file it with the county clerk,” Glen responded.
“I don’t understand, ” Carol said, furrowing her brow.
“You file it with the county clerk,” Glen repeated.
“What do you mean?” Carol said, raising her voice a little.
“You file it with the county clerk,” Glen said slowly and distinctly. Then he turned and walked into his office, feeling exasperated.
Dealing with Distractions
A reader asks for advice on how to deal with distractions. If you, too, have difficulty putting aside distractions, here are a few subjects to investigate for the source of the problem, along with some possible solutions.
Which goals fall by the wayside?
First, let’s look at what goal you get distracted from accomplishing. What is the purpose or goal of that “to-do”? Is it a compelling goal? Is it your goal, or really someone else’s? For a mundane, but common example, let’s say your to-do is to get your messy desk organized. If your purpose for cleaning up your desk is so other people won’t think you are a slob, then that’s just a should, and not very compelling. It really is someone else’s goal, not yours. No wonder you are easily distracted from it! If, on the other hand, your purpose is (i) to get a burst of energy from releasing all those little worry strings tied to every piece of potentially important paper lost on your desk, (ii) to be able to respond promptly, decisively and effectively to challenges that come your way today (leaping tall buildings in a single bound) because you know how to quickly put your hands on every piece of information available to you, or (iii) to avoid repeating the embarrassment you suffered yesterday when a client called and you couldn’t find her file well, those goals sound significantly more compelling. It is easier to keep motivated and on track when we have vivid outcomes in mind. So the next time you have a to-do of reviewing a deed of trust or a routine set of responses to interrogatories (yawn), consider the purpose of your review and the outcome you desire. Ask yourself a few questions: What’s important about this task? […]
Get More Done by Doing Less
“For fast-acting relief – slow down.” ~ Lily Tomlin
Life is full of paradox. If you feel harried and stressed at work every day, if you are always putting out fires, stop everything else you are doing and read this article. Three steps will revolutionize your practice.
I know you are in a hurry, so here they are:
- Create blocks of quiet time.
- Prioritize your work each morning.
- Stop multi-tasking.
Some of you are rolling your eyes and muttering disgustedly, “Get real!” or ” Give me something I can use.” You may be the ones who will have the most difficulty implementing this advice. You will also be the ones who will benefit most from it.